Little Infinities

I just read all 99 of the posts I’ve published in the past year. I noticed that since I got my new camera on my birthday last year they’ve improved tremendously. Whenever I go look at an old post it brings me back to that time, and even though I feel so different from the person who I was then, it doesn’t seem like that long ago. Time goes by so quickly, but despite that, it feels so vast and infinitely divisible. Today one of our chickens had to die because of a (non contagious) infection on her foot. It made me realize how fragile and small life is. There have been about 107 billion humans born in the history of us, and I am one of those people. How can something be so delicate and insignificant and small still feel so big on the inside? Life is short, but within it we can build infinities, “forever[s] within the numbered days” (The Fault in Our Stars, John Green). I’m sorry that your infinity had to end today, hen, but I hope you had a lovely life.

This week I went to Bodo’s again- I’m working on making a knife! Behind Bodo’s workshop are a bunch of his bee boxes. He doesn’t use suits or anything. We just walked up and I sat next to the hives and watched them. I saw bees go inside with sacks of pollen on their legs in all different colors- white, yellow, bright orange, sometimes almost red. I thought of The Secret Life of Bees when August says “Above all, send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved.” Bodo said that we release pheromones that make the bees think we are predators when we are scared or excited or angry. I guess when we send out love they can sense that too. I think it’s so cool that we can send other species signals like that! Next time we might work with the bees a little. My brother is getting bees and I’m really excited about that.

On Friday it was unusually warm so we got to go in the river, and last weekend I walked down the hill with friends in the evening to watch the sunset and take pictures. Outside my window the wisteria is blooming. It feels and smells like summer already! (Still 121 days left of winter and spring though). Although I love the warm weather, I think we’ll be getting a little more rain which would be fantastic.


3 thoughts on “Little Infinities

  1. So.. How do we play the game if we don’t know the rules? Are we just the sum of our molecules? Maybe not.. We replenish those during our lifetime. Are we the sum of our memories? If so, how should we live our life? If we are more than the sum of our memories, would we make other choices about our life? If we would, what if we made choices in life, assuming that there is more, but it turned out not to be true. Would it be somehow bad to have made that choice?

    I choose to act today as though forever exists in some way. I think your hen does too. And.. Your bees trust you both chemically and just maybe .. spiritually.

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